On Grief and Loss
By Ginny Williams, LPCC-S
Certified Grief Recovery Specialist and Chief Clinical Officer at Family Resource Center
Whether it is an overflowing email inbox, news coverage that seems virtually impossible to escape, or social media posts that are more often fiction than fact, it is likely you are experiencing some COVID-19 information overload. This overload can often put us on an emotional roller coaster.
It is without question that this global pandemic has negatively affected many people’s mental health and created new barriers for people already living with mental illness and substance use disorders.
Ultimately, at the core of our emotional ups and downs is the experience of grief and loss. Based on the definitions from the Grief Recovery Method®, grief is the normal and natural reaction to loss and the conflicting feelings caused by the end of or change in a familiar pattern of behavior. At this point, I believe many of us would need all of our fingers and toes to count the number of changes and experiences that have ended or changed in unexpected ways.
Like many parents with adult kids in college, I belong to a parent’s group for my daughter’s university on Facebook. I was reading questions being posted about when room and board refunds would come back to the students. Within those comments, I was hit with one of the realities associated with COVID-19 that I didn’t expect in that group. A mom expressed her hope that these refunds would come soon because they were running low on food. My personal emotional reaction to this comment was one of sadness, empathy, and to some degree shock.
My Grief Recovery Specialist self kicked in and I realized that for many of us, we are experiencing an overwhelming loss related to our sense of security. Whether that may be security with our finances, our job, our health, our lost expectations, and hopes of what life events were supposed to be like during this time in our life -- many of us find ourselves navigating a world where our sense of security is not as predictable as it once was.
This COVID-19 reality check also reminded me of some fundamental certainties that we should never lose sight of. Never assume that anyone has everything they need; reach out and ask. If they express a need, help them as you are able, even if it is a listening ear. The pandemic can cause all of us to experience situations we never could have anticipated; reach out for help without shame or stigma. There are many organizations and community resources available to help. And lastly, be in tune with the emotions you are experiencing. There will be good days and there will be hard days ahead. Identify, acknowledge, and express how you are feeling to someone you feel comfortable with. This will help with your overall mental health.
The collective trauma of COVID-19 is uncharted territory for all of us. In the Thriving Families blog, we aim to share messages of hope and tools to cope. Featured authors are local experts and community partners.
In March, our Hancock County System of Care grant project launched the inaugural Thriving Families Week. This week was dedicated to bringing local families and professionals together to talk about healing trauma, addiction, and mental illness.