Meaning Making in Unprecedented Times
By Aeryn Williams, LPCC-S
Director of Clinical Services - Hancock County
“Unprecedented times” has been uttered by every newscaster, pundit and even our neighbors countless times in the past few months. We are in unprecedented times at least in our lifetimes and yet, the constant use of this phrase seems to have in a way dulled the meaning of the phrase. As the weeks have moved on and we have, to one degree or another, become accustomed to our current normal, I have noticed a new companion on my journey; apathy.
Apathy never joins our journey with bells and loud announcements. Rather, it kind of sneaks up on us and quietly takes place next to us, matching us step for step. Soon we find that we feel sluggish or maybe even indecisive. For me, I notice that apathy has come when I can no longer choose what to eat because nothing sounds good and it’s hard to even get up the energy to make a wise choice. Perhaps the most destructive part of apathy is that it leaves us without a sense of purpose or meaning to our current circumstance.
Pondering this today led me to remember Viktor Frankl. Viktor Frankl was a psychiatrist who, having survived the Holocaust, spent much of his life researching how people make meaning of life’s circumstances and the impact this has on their life and mental health. In his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, he shares story after story how purposeful work, love, humor and courage were key to his survival in the concentration camps.
I then spent some time scrolling through my social media feed and reflecting on the stories that I saw and heard. I saw people in two camps: “I’m wearing yoga pants and just don’t care.” And “I’m looking for the beautiful in amongst the hard.” Let me be real clear, I personally live in both camps! Like I said, Apathy is also on my journey too. But, I wanted to take a moment and dig in to those who lived in the other camp too! Here’s some of what I heard:
My husband and I have really been reconnecting.
Graduation wasn’t what I always dreamed of, and I got to give my daughter her diploma myself and whisper how proud I was of her in her ear.
I have been able to walk every single day since this occurred.
I’ve tried a new hobby.
I wrote letters to friends from far away.
So I reflected on my own life. What has been the beauty in the hard for me? What do I want to create more of in my life? And how can I go about it? How can I make meaning even during this unprecedented time?
We are created for connection. I have made it a point to seek ways to connect both in the virtual and real world with those closest to me. I now call my mother almost daily, and I go on walks to have real conversation with friends.
Finding purpose is sometimes through cleaning out the car. Whether you clean your car, wash the dishes, do the laundry, or finally clean out the junk drawer, picking one accomplishable task and working on it can bring a sense of purpose and meaning even to the mundane.
Using gratitude to observe the world around me. I am working to cultivate a practice of gratitude. I say practice because I’m nowhere near perfect yet. Rather, I am practicing being grateful and noticing when I want to grumble and actively choosing to observe the world around me and find something for which I can be grateful.
Giving back. Apathy’s greatest strength is to turn all of our attention onto ourselves. As such, I am working to keep an eye out for those around me that I can help. Perhaps it’s a smile, or an email, sewing masks, or joining a parade of cars celebrating local seniors. Finding a way to give back is key to making meaning in these unprecedented times.
I can’t wait to hear all that you do to create meaning and purpose in this time. I’ll leave you with a quote from Viktor Frankl: “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves."
The collective trauma of COVID-19 is uncharted territory for all of us. In the Thriving Families blog, we aim to share messages of hope and tools to cope. Featured authors are local experts and community partners.
In March, our Hancock County System of Care grant project launched the inaugural Thriving Families Week. This week was dedicated to bringing local families and professionals together to talk about healing trauma, addiction, and mental illness.